Reflections on 2013

As this year draws to an end, like so many others around the world, I feel the need to reflect over the previous 12 months in my life. 2013 was a year of accomplishment and extreme growth for me. From expanding business relationships to my personal relationships, I have changed in virtually every area. A close friend once told me that the person I was at 18 would be nothing like the person I was at 21 and that this process would continue all of my life. I didn’t believe her at the time, but as I’ve grown older, I’ve learned that each year her words become truer and truer. My current 23 year old self seems so distant and profoundly different than who I was five years ago. And five years from now, I’ll look back on these words and revel at how incredibly young-minded and naïve I am today. It’s a humbling and inspiring experience to know that I will (hopefully) continually change and mature until the day I leave this planet.

I realize that it’s pretty clichéd to write a post about reflecting on the previous year while simultaneously calling my former self a stranger, but that’s really the only accurate description I can give. Clichés may be overdone, but sometimes they are all that fit. 2013 has not been such an awesome year because of me, though; it has been 100% because of God. This year has been full of uncertainty, and it forced me to throw myself head first into my relationship with the Father. And though it’s a decision I must constantly renew, I have never once regretted or questioned putting my faith entirely in God.

Anyone who knows me knows that I have been given a passion for seeing an end to modern day slavery within my lifetime, and this passion has driven my thoughts and actions for a very long time. In April of this year, I was blessed with the fantastic opportunity of volunteering with a local non-profit organization which directly serves victims and survivors of human trafficking in Virginia. I work with such a dedicated, brilliant, steadfast, and compassionate group of people who are the definition of love personified. Each day I am reminded of how fortunate I am to know and interact with such noteworthy and motivating people.

My boyfriend also became my future husband this year, and we’re both anxiously and enthusiastically awaiting our wedding in mid-August 2014. All my life, my spiritual leaders warned me of the dangers of cohabiting with my significant other prior to marriage, and while I know our living situation isn’t pleasing to God, it has never once separated me from celebrating and loving my Father in Heaven. 2013 has had its ups and downs, but God has seen me through it all and he has remained a constant beacon of hope and strength.

I imagined adulthood would be terrible and awful and unenjoyable; but how incredibly wrong I was. Becoming an adult—while admittedly very terrifying—has been the most rewarding, exciting, and enthralling adventure of my life; and I am stoked to see where God will lead me in 2014 and in the years to come.

“Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” – Isaiah 43:18-19

This. So much this.

"Adoption feels like a gigantic knot to me. A huge balled up knot that is the complicated life of adoption, open adoption, two families, extended family from four sides, explaining which “mom” I'm talking about and emotions. Those damn emotions that still confound and confuse me decades later – you would think I would be accustomed to this life by now.

But I’m not.

It’s unpredictable not only in the actions, thoughts, feelings and motivations of others, but also it is unpredictable in my own actions, thoughts, feelings and motivations. That factor, the unpredictability, gives the knot a life of its own.

I realize that some people may think we all have unpredictable lives and to that, I agree. It is true, nothing is promised, we only have today, or right now – the present. But, I have no problem living in the present. In fact it’s one of the things I’m actually good at doing. The more I live in the moment, taking nothing for granted, the more I can ignore that damn knot.

But occasionally, I cannot ignore it. Unpredictability sets me right in the middle of the heavy ropes and dares me to try to untangle the knot.

And I try.

I work on the tangled mess and try to unravel it one thread at a time. Rarely do I know if I am making any progress or if I am simply creating a bigger mess in the end.

I fear the latter is what is happening."

-The Adoption Knot

Thoughts on the most wonderful time of the year.

The holiday season is in full swing.  Christmas trees and lights are going up, Christmas carols have been playing on the radio for weeks, and the overwhelming spirit of Christmas cheer is nearly palpable.  One thing I've noticed though, is as Christmas draws near, people seem to have less patience.  And with little patience, a short temper typically follows; particularly when it comes to interacting with cashiers and other retail workers.

I'd like to believe we live in a world where most people are reasonable, decent, and genuinely kind at their core.  But I've watched some of the nicest, most decent people I know verbally berate cashiers for computer glitches, and it sometimes makes me wonder.  I worked in retail for a few years, and in that time I encountered a lot of rude people.  Although I don't have any true horror stories of my own, I have been appalled on many occasions at the way I've seen other people treat retail workers.
When I have questioned these people about their behavior, the most popular response is, "This is what they're paid to do, and they need to do it correctly."

Stop.  Just stop.  Stop using the fact that your cashier gets paid as justification for acting like a jerk.  Their mistakes do not give you license to belittle or shame who they are as people.  I bet if you asked any retail employee what their favorite part of their job is, very few would say the customers.  But I bet if you asked them what their least favorite part was, the vast majority would say customers.  In an industry tailored around the consumer, isn't it just a little sad that very few of the workers actually like the people they're supposed to be working to please?

I can empathize with anyone who loses their temper occasionally.  I lose mine from time to time as well, and when that happens I often take it out on whoever is around me.  But that doesn't make lashing out okay or acceptable.  The lines are going to be long regardless of how you feel or act.  Computer glitches will continue to happen, causing quick purchases to drag on for nearly twenty minutes.  The holidays are stressful for both employees and customers, but just try to remember that everyone involved is a human with feelings of their own.  So the next time you feel like you're about to lose your cool in the checkout line, take a deep breath, count to ten, and then decide if this is really worth freaking out over.  Chances are, it's not.